The Visionary

Here's a poem inspired by some old notes I jotted down years ago for a project I had been working on... It didn't make sense then, and it really doesn't now either.

THE VISIONARY

"Use this spoon to gouge out your eyeballs."

"What for?"

"It will help you see better...
You won't need your glasses anymore."

"What happens if I remove my ear?"

"You become Van Gogh."

Dislike

I couldn't help it... I'm just sick of two things, and I felt the need to write about it.

DISLIKE

I wish that
Facebook
would finally give us
a "Dislike" button.

So I can tell people
just how much
I dislike
being told that
they want
a "Dislike" button.

Customer Service

Well, in celebration of Black Friday, I wrote a poem about my short excursion to Best Buy...

CUSTOMER SERVICE

"Thank you for coming in."
I don't think she realised
that I used to have her job.

Not that it would have
mattered one way
or another...

but I find myself
kind of wondering
what she would have said,
or if I would have
been helped
at all,
if she had known.

Maybe she would have just asked
if I even needed help
figuring I was fine on my own.

Perhaps she would have just
had me kicked out.

My Mechanical Pencil

To catch me up to the most recent poem, here's a nice little one about my desire for a really nice mechanical pencil... I have since bought one that is quite good, but still not up to the standard I was hoping.

MY MECHANICAL PENCIL

I have a mechanical pencil.
It's a pretty decent one
with the button on the side
to thrust out more lead.

It's by far not just
some cheap-ass pencil
you get in packs of ten,
but I really want
a fancy, expensive pencil.

WalMart only carries
crappy ones.

Maybe I can find one online.

It's not really
something I need,
but I really want one.

Ah, the simple things in life
that make us happy.

People Watching

Yet another poem written while sitting in a diner downtown.

PEOPLE WATCHING

Every now and then,
I like to go out,
find a place to sit,
and watch people.

"People watching"
I believe it's called.

Except
that's far too
happy sounding for how
cynical
my event is.

I typically make fun
of the people
and wish them
various incurable diseases.

I wonder how often
it works,
and someone
ends up dead
the very next day
because of me.

Couples In Booths

Something that's annoyed me for years. I am sure it's as aggrivating for others as well.

COUPLES IN BOOTHS

A booth in a diner
has two sides...
Two.
A bench on either side
of the table.

Why do couples
always insist on
sitting together
in one bench?

Don't they realise
how stupid they look?
Maybe they just don't care.
Assholes.

If this were a boat,
they'd have flipped over
long ago.

I'll Be Famous When I'm Dead

Earlier this year, I published a book spanning the past fifteen(15) years of my poetry... it was riddled with typos, and problems with the table of contents, a dedication that no longer applied, etc. etc....

So, now that I've completed a certain specific phase of my writing style, I've updated the book and published a second edition. This new edition contains all the poems written over the last five and a half months... and of course, all the problems that I knew of have been fixed.

Now that the book is (hopefully) free of issues, I have decided to post a link to the store page. If anyone (for any various stupid reason) would actually want a copy of my poetry in hardbound form, it doesn't cost all that much... and I get a bit of money from each sale too!

It's also available in ebook download form for much cheaper... Anyways, here is the link. I have a book!!! Just click on the cover.