For Jack Bauer

Yes, I've been watching 24.  Shut up.

FOR JACK BAUER

I want to watch
The Tim And Eric Show
or pretty much anything else right now...

Last night you kept me up
until six a.m.

An episode ends:
I should turn it off,
but I need to know
what happens next.

I think there's a reason
I didn't start watching
until now.

I hate you, Jack Bauer...

...at least your daughter is hot.

Memories

Here's the new poem for today.  I wrote this a few days ago, based entirely on a random conversation I had with Lori... and no, I was never married.

MEMORIES

It's been eight long years
since my wife died.

She used to love
how the birds all
flew together in a V.

"Birds of a feather
flock together."
she would say
and wrinkle her nose
as she laughed.

I never understood
how she could hunt quail
if she loved birds so much...

...but boy howdy,
did they taste good
with orange sauce.

She died from food poisoning.
Salmonella.

Some say it was
revenge.

For Allergies

Yes, I am getting sick.  That doesn't happen all too often, so I guess I'm overdue.  I wrote about it.

FOR ALLERGIES

Good lord...

Are you trying
to make me
cut off my face?

I think allergies
are just life's way
of making us
appreciate the little things
in life...

...like breathing,
for example.

The Selection Of A Toothbrush

Here is a lovely poem for today. It's called...

THE SELECTION OF A TOOTHBRUSH

There are too many
shapes, sizes, colours.
Some are bent to
better reach the back teeth.
Others have multi-coloured
bristles, as if your teeth know
the difference.
A few have rubbery,
thick, side bristles...
I guess to make
things more interesting.
Packs of four.
Packs of two.
Packs of seven.
Whatever happened to
just a normal plain
toothbrush?

Gravity

Here's a poem I wrote based on a theory I came up with years ago... after I had stayed awake for a few days, of course.

GRAVITY

"I hate this planet."

He fell right off
the face of the Earth.

Fell straight up.

As fast as if
he were plummetting
the other direction.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
I didn't mean it!"

Direction changed,
he fell
the way people are supposed to.

He smashed
firmly
against the ground
with a solid thud.

Love's a bitch.

Rearranging Things

Here's a short one I wrote. The shorter ones tend to be some of my favourites.

REARRANGING THINGS

Every so often,

I rearrange my furniture.

A fresh start

with the same old crap.

Charity

Okay, new plan: New poems coming every Monday, hopefully for the whole year. "Why?" you might be asking... Well, you'll see tomorrow, when I unveil my new experiment!!!

So here it is, the first of many poems for 2010.

CHARITY

"Here... wear my shoes.

They fit you better."

I now own a new pair of shoes.

"Take my gloves.

Keep your hands warm."

My god, these are comfortable.

"Do you need a belt?"

Before long,

there was an ugly,

naked man

standing in front of me.