Two More Left

And now, for a poem about the end of my poetry spree. Woo!

Nitrates

I am starting this entry with no poem written and no idea what it will be about... I sorta like doing em this way. Now, let's see how this ends up.

I'm Running Out of Ideas

Alright, we're almost to the end of the year, when I will have finally finished my "one crappy poem every week" mission. Here's a poem about it.

Ice and Fleas

Okay, last week's poem actually went really well.  I just rambled streams of words that went through my head and typed them before really thinking about them.  Oddly, it almost made sense.  I doubt I'll have the same luck this week, (considering I typed "lunch" instead of "luck" just now... perhaps I should eat.) but I'm gonna do it again anyways.  It'll be fun.

I Like To Make Log Cabins With My Mind

Okay, I think I am going to try something new for this week's poem. Let's hope it works.

Seems Like Old Times

A quick poem about a movie I grew up with and am watching now.

I Fell Behind

Here's a little poem to try to catch up with things now that I am back from my trip.

I Am Listening To Leonard Cohen

A short poem before my trip to Chicago. (for more information about my trip, follow me on Twitter.)

This Week Is Going To Go On Forever

Here's a poem about how I feel currently...

Enlightenment

Not what you'd think. Here's a poem about it...

Nice and Easy

Here's yesterday's poem, even though I haven't written it yet. I am trying something new. I typed in a title, and now I am going to just ramble out something and hope it works. Wish me luck!

Obligation

I am a day late on this one, but here it is... This week's poem!!! Wooo!!!

Pointless Arguments

More dialogue-driven poems.. based on nothing but my own boredom.

I Have A Headache

Here's a poem about why I only worked a half-day today.

Labour Day

Here's a poem I wrote about my misfortune in finding lunch today.

I Have No Internet

Attempt number two, as the first poem about my internet connection dropping off got lost due to the internet connection dropping off. Irony.

Do I Look Awake?

Here's a fantastic poem I wrote just a minute ago. I really enjoy the dialogue-driven ones... They make me chuckle.

Protection

Here's a nice poem I wrote upon request... Don't ask.

I'm Sorry, Twitter

Every week I find myself trying to think of what to write next... Sometimes, I find myself wanting to continue a thought I had previously touched on. This week is definitely one of those times. In addition to last week's poem, here's another one about Twitter:

Damn You Twitter

I think the title is self-explanatory. A little love poem to Twitter.

Also, follow me.

Experiences

Here's a nice little poem bout my imaginary trip to San Diego.

San Diego Comic Con 2010

Alright, as many of you may (or may not) already know, I spent the past few days live-tweeting the HELL out of the 2010 San Diego Comic Con.  As most of you are already aware... I did not actually attend the 2010 San Diego Comic Con.  Yet, I almost continually insisted I was there, all while posting all the fun, exciting and sometimes outlandish things I saw and did there.

Here is the entire non-event, through my rather over-active imagination.  Enjoy!!!

What To Write...

Here's the poem for the week. Yet another about my general lack of anything to say. Enjoy!

Haiku

Well, over the past week, I've gained myself a girlfriend. As incredible that is in and of itself, it's nothing close to how incredible she is. She's an absolute wonder.

That being said, I am going to have to make sure my poems don't get all mushy, unless I just can't help it!! I guess historically, most of my sappy romantic poems were based more on depression, loss, and just general hopelessness. I've always said that I can't write poetry when I'm happy. I tried once to write a happy love poem. It didn't work too well.

Which is why I have gone more recently to a "cynical observation" style... It's easier to just write if I am not really writing about feelings. But sometimes I just can't help it, so I'm sure a few will seep in every so often. I apologise in advance.

Three-Day Weekends

And because of the holiday weekend, I wrote a poem about just that. As always, pretty self-explanatory.

The Cure To End All Cures

More poetry-on-the-fly. Whatever, I like doing that... no matter how cheap it seems.

Transformers

Here's a little poem I whipped up when I realised today was Monday and I had nothing to post. It's not the best, but meh... whatever. That's not the point, is it?!

But The Stench Is Killing Me

Here's a glorious poem I wrote for absolutely no reason except to just write. I actually kinda like this one, and I really don't know why.

I Watch A Lot Of Bad Movies

Here's a poem I wrote that I think is pretty self-explanatory.

Don't Assume Anything Is Wrong At All

Alright peoples. Here's this week's poem. I was very highly debating writing one less sappy, and more in tune with the "random observations" as I've been preferring lately... but I still happened to write this anyways, and my whole purpose in blogueing all these poems were to diversify and post each and every poem I wrote. I guess this includes the more emotional ones that just randomly fly onto the paper, so here it is.

It's Three Thirty In The Morning

Alright... I guess this is just a quick poem I wrote up last night / this morning, when I realised I didn't have anything written yet!  I guess it technically describes my life in general... or at least, most nights.

Future Regrets Not Withstanding

Wrote this in the middle of the night the other day.  It's a fair recession back to my older style of writing, but that just comes naturally to me at times.  I can't say it's a bad thing though, because I really think this is one of the best I've written in a while.

New Products

This week's poem.  I really love these dialogue-driven poems.

NEW PRODUCTS

"I'm really sorry,
but we're going to pass."

"But sir,
I worked on this presentation
for over a month."

"Yes, well I don't feel
this product is very condusive
to our customer base."

"So what you're saying
is that no one
wants to buy
deep-fried mustard salami
covered in fudge?"

"I think I'm
gonna be sick."

Forced Boredom

Today's poem is something I wrote after work on Friday.  I could have written more, but I really was too bored to even do that.  Go figure.

FORCED BOREDOM

I've been off work
for a half-hour already.
My ride isn't done yet.

So here I sit,
at a chair in the back room.

Not much is going on.
I already cleaned and
rearranged my desk.

Lindsay just blew her nose
and said "Dammit."

Watching someone else type
really isn't as much fun
as you would think.

Spam

Here is today's poem, albeit a bit late.

SPAM

How do you un-sign-up for spam?
I am not talking the canned meat.
I mean the type that comes
in droves to your email inbox.

I never really signed up
for any of this in the first place.
In fact, I have a whole other
email address
specifically for things like this.

Yet still, here it all comes.

Maybe if it was canned meat,
I'd be able to get rid of it easier.
Perhaps I wouldn't want it to stop.

How can I subscribe to canned meat?

They Can't All Be Winners

I kept pushing this one off, but here it is...

THEY CAN'T ALL BE WINNERS

I type a line of a poem.
Read it, then backspace.
Every so often, I "select all"
and then delete.

But most of the time,
I end up just writing random thoughts,
hoping it ends up cohesive,
and leave it at that.

Once in a while,
something good comes out...
The rest is pure crap.
Now repeat the title of this poem.

A Poem About A Girl Walking Past My Apartment

It's Monday, so that means I get to post a new poem thing.  Well, here ya go:

A POEM ABOUT A GIRL WALKING PAST MY APARTMENT

I like to spend my free time
looking out the windows,
watching to see if anything interesting
might happen.

I'd hate to miss it if it ever does.

Yesterday, as I was peering out,
I saw a girl walking down the road,
one foot on the sidewalk,
the other in the gutter.

That alone was interesting enough for a chuckle,
but when she tripped, and had to keep from falling...

...I find enjoyment in the little things.

There Is A War

Brought on by a dream from the other night... one of two I thought about writing, and the only one I could get into words.

THERE IS A WAR

Off in the distance
fires burn, and guns a-blaze.
The ghosts of angels scream in horror.
The enemy has won, chilling the night
and filling our lives with sorrow.

Walk in the rain to cleanse your soul
for the fight to come.
It is you and the universe.
Every spirit turned against man,
you fight an impossible battle.

Dust, the smell of rain and
rotting flesh fill the air.
Stare into the vast horizon
and dream of better days.
A solitary tree leans upon you for rest.

Once the night arrives,
all hope has been lost.
Your soul torn from your throat,
by unseen forces who
left you to die.

Moving Faster Than Nature

Here's a less sarcastic, less bitter poem I wrote...  I think I like this one.

MOVING FASTER THAN NATURE

A single drop falls onto my head.

Perhaps I can walk
faster than the rain will come.

Another drop hits,
like a precise mark.

Suddenly, a cold wind
rips at my face.
The dark of night smells fantastic:

Flowers, and the onset of rain.

It's a bit quiet.
Windchimes, and sprinklers.

I get a calm, forboding feeling:
Something is about to happen.

Keep walking. Just keep walking.

Dark spots begin to fill the ground,
just as I make it up the stairs
and through my door.

The night breaks open.

Bows and Arrows

Don't even try to figure out where this one came from.

BOWS AND ARROWS

If I ever
get shot with
an arrow

I don't think
I will just
try to pull it out

Not because
it may cause
more damage

But because
I think it would be
really neat
to walk around
with an arrow
sticking out of me

"Mommy, that man has
an arrow in his chest."
"Don't provoke the freak.
He might talk to you."

And I would.

Moron (More On) Booths

Okay so yeah... This is the sequel to my previous poem "Couples In Booths"  I was at Jack's the other night, and I spent the entire time trying to wrap my mind around something...  This is the result.

MORON (More On) BOOTHS

I've made comment
on couples sitting in booths,
two to a side,
leaving the other side empty.

I can at least understand
the logic behind it.
I just think it's stupid.

What I don't understand
is what brought a group of four
to sit lopsided in a booth.

Three on one side,
one on the other.

Two of the three, I could tell
were a couple. But
I don't understand the third's
reasons for not sitting in the other bench.

The best I can figure:
"You smell. I refuse to sit next to you."

Midget Sex (for Lori)

Well, over the weekend, just to make things interesting, I asked a few people for topic suggestions for this week's (and maybe future weeks') poem.  Some of the suggestions (specifically from Lori) were just weird... I think she was drunk, but she claims she wasn't.  Anyways, I wrote this out of spite:

MIDGET SEX (For Lori)

I asked Lori
for suggestions.
Topics for my poems,
that's all I asked...

Lori told me to write
about my sexual encounter
with a midget.

The big problem here
is that I don't think
they like being called
"midgets."

Little people.
Even that sounds a tad degrading.

I suppose the topic
of sex with little people
just doesn't have quite
the same ring to it.

The second,
and slightly lesser problem
with this topic:

I never had sex with a midget, Lori.

What Did I Get Myself Into?

Long weekend... I got a lot of stuff done, which is good, but I ended up exhausted by 8p last night.  I wrote this:

WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO?

"Just one a week"
I said.

"I'll just write about anything"
I said.

"It will be easy"
I convinced myself.

Well here I find myself,
sitting at my laptop,
wondering what to write.

I guess sometimes
a simple topic
just isn't that simple
of a thing to come by.

"Anything will do"
I said.

Maybe I should just write
about this...

Yeah, this works.

Independence Day

I wrote this one in a bit of a hurry.  Been on vacation.

INDEPENDENCE DAY

The worst effect
I have ever seen
in a movie
is on Independence Day.

I've seen some
really bad effects
in my day,
but nothing
quite as bad
as the dog
jumping
into a doorway
as the fireball
blasts behind him.

I think they put that in
at the last minute.

Test audiences
don't like it
when dogs get
blown up.

For Jack Bauer

Yes, I've been watching 24.  Shut up.

FOR JACK BAUER

I want to watch
The Tim And Eric Show
or pretty much anything else right now...

Last night you kept me up
until six a.m.

An episode ends:
I should turn it off,
but I need to know
what happens next.

I think there's a reason
I didn't start watching
until now.

I hate you, Jack Bauer...

...at least your daughter is hot.

Memories

Here's the new poem for today.  I wrote this a few days ago, based entirely on a random conversation I had with Lori... and no, I was never married.

MEMORIES

It's been eight long years
since my wife died.

She used to love
how the birds all
flew together in a V.

"Birds of a feather
flock together."
she would say
and wrinkle her nose
as she laughed.

I never understood
how she could hunt quail
if she loved birds so much...

...but boy howdy,
did they taste good
with orange sauce.

She died from food poisoning.
Salmonella.

Some say it was
revenge.

For Allergies

Yes, I am getting sick.  That doesn't happen all too often, so I guess I'm overdue.  I wrote about it.

FOR ALLERGIES

Good lord...

Are you trying
to make me
cut off my face?

I think allergies
are just life's way
of making us
appreciate the little things
in life...

...like breathing,
for example.

The Selection Of A Toothbrush

Here is a lovely poem for today. It's called...

THE SELECTION OF A TOOTHBRUSH

There are too many
shapes, sizes, colours.
Some are bent to
better reach the back teeth.
Others have multi-coloured
bristles, as if your teeth know
the difference.
A few have rubbery,
thick, side bristles...
I guess to make
things more interesting.
Packs of four.
Packs of two.
Packs of seven.
Whatever happened to
just a normal plain
toothbrush?

Gravity

Here's a poem I wrote based on a theory I came up with years ago... after I had stayed awake for a few days, of course.

GRAVITY

"I hate this planet."

He fell right off
the face of the Earth.

Fell straight up.

As fast as if
he were plummetting
the other direction.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
I didn't mean it!"

Direction changed,
he fell
the way people are supposed to.

He smashed
firmly
against the ground
with a solid thud.

Love's a bitch.

Rearranging Things

Here's a short one I wrote. The shorter ones tend to be some of my favourites.

REARRANGING THINGS

Every so often,

I rearrange my furniture.

A fresh start

with the same old crap.

Charity

Okay, new plan: New poems coming every Monday, hopefully for the whole year. "Why?" you might be asking... Well, you'll see tomorrow, when I unveil my new experiment!!!

So here it is, the first of many poems for 2010.

CHARITY

"Here... wear my shoes.

They fit you better."

I now own a new pair of shoes.

"Take my gloves.

Keep your hands warm."

My god, these are comfortable.

"Do you need a belt?"

Before long,

there was an ugly,

naked man

standing in front of me.